We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize