She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
