if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize