id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
