we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
