O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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