Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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