Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..