Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy