i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
