i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.