Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize