Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.