I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
