Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My vagina is very pro this idea
Please don't give away my fajitas
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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