I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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