Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
