how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
