Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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