If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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