C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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