when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
