the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
