this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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