just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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