the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize