My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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