I'm eating all of the evidence.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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