were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize