I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize