Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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