dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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