Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
