Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
