for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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