There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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