I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
