...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
