I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
