You work out of a Hotel?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
