Your tits are I can't wait for
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I could make wine with my vomit
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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