I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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