Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
