Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
