You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
