How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I touched a dick in church today
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
His nipple licking is glorious
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