Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
