I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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