our cab driver is having phone sex.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
