hell yes lets make some ravioli
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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