The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
