She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is my life. Enjoy the view
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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