That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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