I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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