I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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