jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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