I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
