I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
