yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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