she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
