the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
