my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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